My Story

My name is Sara Tasneem. When I was just 15 years old, I was forced to marry a man nearly twice my age. He was 28.

That morning, my father introduced me to the man I would marry. That same evening, we had a spiritual wedding ceremony performed by the leader of the group my father belonged to. Just like that, I was handed over to a man I barely knew. He became my guardian, my husband, and later the father of my children.

That night, I lost my childhood, my freedom, and a part of myself that would take years to reclaim.

Photo caption: I was 15 years old here, shortly before flying to visit my father in California.

Six months after the spiritual ceremony, I was legally married in Reno, Nevada at the age of 16—and already pregnant. Nothing about the marriage felt real. Instead, it felt like a prison.

When my daughter was born, I began to fight for my freedom. I fought to return to school and build a life beyond the walls that had been constructed around me. Seven years after our legal marriage, at age 23, I finally separated from my ex-husband. He was 36.

He left the marriage and returned to his life without consequence. I was left to face the aftermath—alone with my child, my trauma, and no support.

The Aftermath

I had little education, no financial support, and was years behind my peers in almost every way. Getting divorced took three long years. I couldn’t afford a lawyer—he could. In the end, I gave him everything. I gave him my childhood and my youth. He left me with debt and the responsibility of caring for our two small children on my own.

He left the country and disappeared. At first, he tried to keep my children. I had to travel overseas, persuade his family, and fight to bring them back to me. He became a distant father—only involved when he felt like it, and often not at all.

I didn’t know if I’d receive child support. I wondered if I’d have to choose between gas to get to work or food for my kids. And I often had to.

Even after I left the marriage, I was still rebuilding from zero. During our relationship, I’d never had a bank account. My ex controlled all the finances. Thankfully, I had learned to drive at 22, and had earned an associate’s degree in Culinary Arts before I left. Those two things saved me.

Photo caption: My babies—they gave me the strength to keep going.

Most of the community I had grown up with shunned me because I had divorced. Years of physical abuse, starting from my early childhood, left me a shell of a human being. The emotional and sexual abuse throughout my marriage worsened my condition. I was so accustomed to surviving my circumstances. I no longer knew how to live a life without fear, anxiety, depression, and anger. It took years to overcome the mental obstacles that were holding me back. I suffered from severe and debilitating depression, PTSD, and anxiety for years after I left my forced marriage.

Rebuilding from the Ashes

The community I grew up in shunned me for getting divorced. Years of physical abuse in childhood, combined with emotional and sexual abuse during marriage, left me deeply traumatized. I didn’t know how to live without fear. I struggled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety for years.

My children grew up with a mother who was in survival mode most of the time. I was trying to raise them while still learning how to be an adult myself.

Despite it all, we found a way forward. Slowly, painfully—we rebuilt. I still struggle at times, but I have a support system now. I am healing.

Today, my children are grown. They are independent, strong, and forging their own paths. They were my reason to survive. I did everything I could to give them a better life than I had. And every day that I’m able to do that, I’m grateful.

Why Is Child Marriage Still Legal in the United States?

Many Americans are shocked to learn that child marriage is still legal in most U.S. states.

Currently:

  • 36 out of 50 states allow minors to marry under certain conditions (parental consent or pregnancy)
  • Four states have no minimum age at all; Including California!

In homes like mine, “parental consent” can mean coercion, not protection. Children forced into marriage face immense legal and practical barriers when trying to leave.

Why Child Marriage Is Dangerous

  • 3x more likely to face domestic abuse
  • Often denied access to shelters, lawyers, or financial resources
  • Higher rates of school dropouts, mental health issues, and poverty
  • Greater risk of childbirth complications
  • Forced to raise children before they’re emotionally or financially ready

Most minors can’t:

  • Open bank accounts
  • Sign leases
  • Hire attorneys
  • Drive (before 16)
  • Or even get jobs in some states

These laws trap children—especially girls—in abusive, lifelong cycles.

There’s Hope — But We Need Action

So far, 13 states have passed laws that raise the minimum marriage age to 18 with no exceptions. These are major victories—but we still have 37 states to go.

How You Can Help

You have the power to help protect children in your state.

✅ Look up the marriage laws in your state
✅ Email your legislators—demand the age of marriage be raised to 18 with no exceptions
✅ Share stories like mine to raise awareness
✅ Support organizations working to end child marriage
✅ Reach out if you want to get involved or learn more

📩 Contact me directly at Tasneemsf333@gmail.com